However, amidst the learned commentary and fevered punditry, permit me to prognosticate:
David Cameron will win
How do I know this? Has your eminent and well-connected Pedant-General been talking to or even (God forbid) advising those in the know, the great and the good? At the feet of which oracle have I emptied my coffers?
No. My methods of divination are simpler - and require substantially fewer dismembered sheep - than that: His opponents are on the run.
You heard it here first.