Friday, January 06, 2006

Weird. Just Weird

Barely into the new year and... bosh! I've been tigged (again). It was tigging wot got me into this ghastly mess in the first place. Never mind.

This time, it is about weirdness, which is, naturally, something your upright and sober Pedant-General does not do.

The blimmin' Devil, whose fault all this is, moans:
"... although I'm sure that others would have a much easier time listing five weird things about me than I will."
Speak for yourself sunshine.

UPDATE: I have misinterpretted this. I hadn't spotted the "about me" qualifier. Alright I admit it - I was sloppy and didn't read it carefully enough. He is correct. He definitely needs a haircut.

To business then:
  1. Neither of my little toes touches the ground. At all. They poke upwards at such a strange angle that I am constantly going through shoes because they crease unnaturally at that point.
  2. Lady P-G isn't a Lady (but purely in the aristocratic sense, in much the same way that Mr Seat isn't a Mr) and she doesn't know about this blog. Perhaps I ought to tell this lot.
  3. Having interviewed a chap who was exceptionally well qualified for the job but who appeared, even to me, to be just a teeny-weeny bit almost entirely hatstand, I sent the Chief Exec in to have a chat with him. He (the Chief Exec that is) came out 15 minutes later and wandered over to my desk. He leaned on it for support and said:
    "When Greg and I started this company, we made a very clear decision that we would only ever hire ONE lunatic"
    and then he wandered off. I have no idea what all that was about.
  4. I sneeze with sufficient force to make my feet leave the ground (including the two little toes that weren't touching it anyway). When Lady P-G saw me sneeze for the first time (I suffer from hayfever), she thought I was joking. She continued to think I was joking - and was beginning to think that the wind up was wearing a little thin - until she saw my father sneeze. Indeed, when the young masters Pedant-General see me warming up for a blast of the foghorn, they put their hands over their ears and run from the room.
  5. I can sit on the floor with my legs over my shoulders. I challenge Mr Free Market to do that, even when drunk....
That's enough embarrassing nonsense from me. Upon whom should this be inflicted?
  1. Mr Seat. Need to get him back anyway and I bet he has skeletons in the cupboard by the bucket load.
  2. Thersites. Doctors aren't exactly normal either.
  3. Deogolwulf. This thing isn't really his style, but maybe he needs to relax a little.
  4. ninme. It is always important to get these things across the pond. ninme, FYI the weirdness is by UK standards not US. We still can't get enough of the stuff you consider to be normal over there....
  5. The Moai. I have owed him a link for such a long time. Not sure if this counts, but it's a start.
Happy New Year!


Thersites said...

What have I done to deserve this?

The Pedant-General in Ordinary said...

Well let's start with the last line of the "Antibiotic Santa" post:

and I quote: "The sinister smirk upon the doctor’s face, as he writes a prescription for Erythromycin 500mg QDS 5/7, can be understood if one considers the commonest side-effects of this antibiotic — abdominal cramps & diarrhoea, timed to arrive during the festivity’s excesses."

You are going straight to Hell for that one. In the meantime, this is your penance on Earth...

Arthur said...

All done:

The Moai said...

Cheers P-G, am on it....

The Moai

Deogolwulf said...

"maybe he needs to relax a little"

-- Goddammit, I am relaxed! Anyway, I'll see what I can do.

Devil's Kitchen said...

He definitely needs a haircut.

So true. It has been done. By the bint. It's... interesting. And short.

My head feels really light...

I shall try to post a piccie this evening.