Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Hang them all.

Hang them all, that's my solution to the idiocies of bureaucrats and politicians. Like this ghastly murdering of that most beautiful and flexible of things, the English language:

Autonomous benchmarking of best practices toward coterminous, holistic governance and stakeholder engagement.....


Gone should be terms or phrases such as "cascading" (sending an email around), "menu of options" (choices) and "predictors of beaconicity" (?), and in comes straight talk.

Instead of "transformational" just say "change," rather than "client" use "person" and avoid the confusion created by a phrase such as "distorts spending priorities" and just admit that whatever it is "ignores people's needs."

"Why do we have to have to have 'coterminous, stakeholder engagement' when we could just have 'talk to people' instead," said Margaret Eaton, the chairman of the Local Government Association (LGA).

No, I don't think there'll be any use in just giving them a stern talking tyo nor will we change their behaviour by sending out new guidelines.

Death, death and pain, those are the only two things that will work. Lamp posts, hempen rope and bureaucrat, some assembly required. That's the only thing they'll listen to.

Think I'm being too harsh? What should we do with someone who invents a phrase like "predictors of beaconicity"?

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