So there's this matador and he gets gored by a bull. Damn lucky to be alive:
Cruz, 25, is recovering in hospital after the second bull of Tuesday's corrida caught him in the upper thigh, throwing him into the air, and gored him in the groin once he hit the ground.
Newspapers reproduced the eye-watering bulletin issued by surgeons at the bullring after a two-hour operation and film of the incident was played on the main evening news.
"Fernando Cruz is suffering from two horn wounds of 25 centimeters in length each. One involves the fibers of the abductor muscle and dissects the femoral artery, the other involves the scrotal area and eviscerates both testicles."
Eviscerates both testicles? Yowsah! Unfortunately the piece leads off with:
If Spanish matador Fernando Cruz ever has children,
Don't think that's really goiong to happen now, do you?